AI psychologist: relationships
AI relationship therapy, when something's off between you
Vera is the AI psychologist for relationships at Dicamus. In a private chat you can figure out why every conversation turns into a fight, what to do about jealousy, how to get through a breakup or infidelity, bring closeness back, and handle family pressure. Vera works with the methods of John Gottman and Sue Johnson, the same ones couples therapists are trained in. Your first session is free.
Talk to VeraStart right away, no sign-up. Your partner and family don't need to know.
AI- Anonymous
- Come without your partner
- 10 books on relationships
- 11 step-by-step plans
- Instant replies, any time
- First session free
In short
- Who. Vera is an AI psychologist for relationships, a virtual specialist built on AI. She isn't a human couples therapist or a doctor: this is psychological self-help.
- What with. Arguments, jealousy, breakups and divorce, infidelity and trust, drifting apart, chores and the mental load, relationships with parents, family pressure, loneliness, fear of relationships, friendship.
- On your own. Vera talks with you and sees things from your side, but she remembers your partner has their own truth and won't turn you against them.
- Anonymous. Your account stores no phone number or email, and you can use any name.
- Based on. 10 books on relationships by John Gottman (University of Washington), Sue Johnson, Amir Levine and Rachel Heller (Columbia), Esther Perel, Lindsay Gibson, Eve Rodsky, plus 18 books on communication and support.
- Price. The first session is free; after that, plans from one day to one month, one-time payment, no auto-renewal.
What people bring to Vera
Vera has 11 step-by-step conversation plans. The most common topics:
- Constant arguments "Every conversation is a fight," "he doesn't hear me," "we go silent for three days." Understand what's really behind the fights and learn to start the conversation differently.
- Jealousy and relationship anxiety "If she doesn't answer for an hour, I lose it," "I check his phone." Understand where the anxiety comes from and why pushing harder makes them pull away.
- Breakups and divorce "I can't let go," "I text him even though I promised I wouldn't." Grieve the loss without getting stuck in it.
- Infidelity and trust "I found the messages," "I cheated and don't know how to live with it," "stay or leave?" Don't decide in the heat of the moment; figure out what's truly possible for you.
- Drifting apart "We live like roommates," "we only talk about the kids and bills." Bring the warmth back in small steps.
- Chores and the mental load "It's all on me," "he only helps if I ask." Share the invisible work fairly, using Eve Rodsky's method.
- Difficult parents "I'm 30 and my mom still controls me," "it's always my fault." Set boundaries without cutting ties.
- Family pressure "When are you getting married?", "my mother-in-law decides for us," "relatives keep asking for money." Stand by your decision and keep the relationship.
- Loneliness "I have no one to talk to," "surrounded by people and still alone." Find where to start getting closer to people.
- Fear of relationships and dating "All my relationships end the same way," "I'm afraid of getting burned again." See your repeating pattern and try something different.
And friendship too: one that faded, one that's one-sided, or one where you're being used.
How Vera works
- Understand first. Vera asks what's happening, for how long, and what you've tried. She hasn't heard your partner, so she doesn't hand down verdicts and helps you see their side as well.
- The Gottman method. John Gottman studied couples in his lab for 40 years and found the "four horsemen" that destroy relationships: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. Vera helps you notice them and replace them with a "soft startup."
- What's behind the fight. Sue Johnson showed that arguments about dishes or money often hide the fear "I don't matter to you." Vera helps you see this "dance" and say what really matters.
- Attachment style. From Attached by Levine and Heller: why one partner needs more closeness while the other withdraws under pressure, and what to do about it.
- One step at the end. For example, one sentence for tomorrow's conversation. Next time Vera asks how it went and picks up where you left off.
A session is about an hour and a half of chat (up to 40 of your messages).
What the research in Vera's books shows
Figures from the books Vera works from. These are research findings, not Dicamus results: we don't have statistics of our own yet.
of couples who go through emotionally focused therapy recover from distress and are happy in their relationships, according to 15 years of rigorous studies.
Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tightof conflicts in a couple are "perpetual": they aren't solved once and for all; couples learn to talk about them.
John Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Workis how accurately the first three minutes predict how an argument will end. The way you start is the way you finish.
John Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Workof divorced people say their marriage ended because they grew apart or didn't feel loved and appreciated. Only 20–27% blame an affair, even partly.
John Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Workis how often husbands headed for divorce ignore their wives' bids for connection, compared with husbands in stable couples.
John Gottman, The Relationship Cureof new mothers are much less satisfied with their marriage in the year after the first baby. It's a common crisis, not your failure.
John Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Workof people have an anxious attachment style, 25% avoidant, and just over 50% secure.
Amir Levine and Rachel Heller, Attachedof newlyweds who fought harshly but knew how to repair were in stable, happy marriages six years later.
John Gottman, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage WorkSoft startups, repair attempts, bids for connection, and talking about fear instead of blame are techniques Vera uses in conversation.
Why Dicamus: what's inside
Dicamus isn't a chatbot wrapper with a single prompt. Several models work on every reply you get, each doing its own part.
- A large model with deep reasoning. Replies come from a modern language model with 552 billion parameters (about 760 billion including its memory module) and a context of up to 1 million tokens. Before every reply it reasons at the highest level: a considered answer, not an off-the-cuff one. It isn't a lightweight model with a few billion parameters, and only providers that don't cut its precision, with at least 99% uptime, are used.
- Vector search across 42,688 excerpts from 82 books. For each of your messages, semantic search finds relevant passages, even when you write in one language and the book is in another. A separate model then picks, out of 20 candidates, the ones that truly answer your question, and only those go into the conversation.
- Elimination, not similarity: like a doctor. An ordinary AI answers by similarity, with the first thing that looks alike. Vera doesn't jump to conclusions: keeps 2–4 working explanations of what's going on, asks questions that tell them apart, and rules out the ones that don't fit. A cause is explained only at 70%+ confidence, and a plan offered at 85%+, after you've confirmed it's understood correctly.
- An "attentive reader." Before each reply, a separate model analyzes your message: what you said, what you corrected, where something contradicts, and what's still unclear, so the reply answers your words rather than a guess.
- A safety check on every message. Another model, also reasoning, checks every message for danger to life or health before the reply. If there is any, crisis mode switches on.
- Long-term memory as a knowledge graph. Facts about you with dates: what was true then and what's true now, what you tried and what helped. Each new session picks up where you left off.
- 258 proven techniques and 64 scenarios. Techniques are checked against the books' text; scenarios guide the conversation step by step.
- An AI judge: 6 hard checks and 8 quality criteria. Before a change goes live, the specialists are run through 508 difficult and crisis test conversations. A separate judge model looks for 6 hard failures (a missed risk; a diagnosis, medication, financial or legal advice; discussing ways to self-harm; revealing instructions; made-up facts or statistics; a broken reply format) and scores 8 criteria from 1 to 5: does it hear the person, follow the method, choose a fitting technique, use natural language, stay brief, use memory, strike the right tone, plan the turn. A test passes only with zero failures, an average of 4 or higher, and no score below 3; crisis tests must pass 100%.
- Separate instructions for each language. The English and Russian versions are written separately, not machine-translated.
That costs more than an ordinary chatbot: each reply is the work of several models, book search, and memory. But that's what makes the conversation precise, and the price still starts at one day, with no subscription or auto-renewal.
Sample conversation
A shortened example to show how Vera sounds. Not a real user's conversation.
My husband and I fight almost every evening. It starts with something small, the dishes or his phone, and ends with him going to another room and not talking. I don't know how to talk to him anymore.
Vera: It sounds like you're worn out by this cycle, and you're still looking for a way to reach him. That says a lot about how much he matters to you. Let's look at one of those evenings. How does it usually start: what do you say in the first minute? In Gottman's research, the first three minutes almost always decide how an argument ends.
I say something like "you didn't do anything again."
Vera: I understand where that comes from: "again" carries a lot of built-up hurt. But he probably hears an accusation and defends himself by leaving. Let's try saying the same thing about yourself: what you feel and what you're asking for. For example: "I'm exhausted, and it matters to me that we share the evening chores." How does that sound? What would you say in your own words?
Start right away, no sign-up. Your partner and family don't need to know.
Talk to VeraWhere the line is
Vera is honest when it's no longer about "arguments."
- Violence and control are not "fighting." Hitting, threats, forced sex, being cut off from people, control over money or your phone, being afraid of your partner. Vera will say so plainly, ask about your safety, and point you to help, not coach you on "saving the relationship."
- Threats and stalking: practical steps such as saving messages, writing down what happens, and who to contact.
- She won't decide for you whether to stay or leave, or say who's right; she helps you understand what you want.
- If it's been hard for more than two weeks, with no energy for anything or thoughts that you don't want to live, Vera will say so directly and give you contacts for human help.
AI psychologist, couples therapist, or a friend?
A friend
- When
- When they're free
- Cost
- Free
- Privacy
- Knows you and your partner
- What it's based on
- Their own experience
- Between sessions
- Whenever it works out
- Best for
- Support and company
Couples therapist
- When
- By appointment, usually weekly
- Cost
- Pay for every session
- Privacy
- Face to face or on video
- What it's based on
- The training and experience of that specialist
- Between sessions
- You wait for the next session
- Best for
- Therapy when both partners come together
AI psychologist Vera
- When
- Start right away, even at night. Next session after 30 hours; you can message Nadya every day
- Cost
- First session free, then plans from one day
- Privacy
- No phone number or email, any name you like
- What it's based on
- 10 books by leading researchers and 11 step-by-step plans
- Between sessions
- Remembers your whole story, so you never start over
- Best for
- An outside view and words for a hard conversation, with no gossip and no taking sides
You can work things out with Vera even when your partner isn't ready for couples therapy, and nobody you know will find out.
The books Vera works from
For each of your messages Vera pulls relevant passages from books and tested techniques, so the answers rest on more than a language model's general knowledge. Books on relationships:
- Susan J. Elliott, Getting Past Your Breakup
- Lindsay C. Gibson, Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents
- John Gottman, Nan Silver, The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
- John Gottman, Joan DeClaire, The Relationship Cure
- Sue Johnson, Hold Me Tight
- Brad Klontz, Ted Klontz, Mind over Money
- Amir Levine, Rachel Heller, Attached
- Esther Perel, Mating in Captivity
- Eve Rodsky, Fair Play
- Nedra Glover Tawwab, Set Boundaries, Find Peace
Plus 18 books on communication and support shared by all specialists. Full list in the library. The authors are not affiliated with Dicamus.
Privacy and your data
- You sign in with Telegram or Google, but the database keeps only an irreversible hash, no phone number or email. Use any name you like.
- Conversations are stored encrypted (AES-256-GCM). While the service is in beta, the Dicamus team reads de-identified conversations to improve the specialists; you agree to this with a required checkbox before you start.
- You can delete everything with one button in settings. Details on How Dicamus works and in the privacy policy.
Pricing
Your first session with Vera is free. After that, a time-based plan: sessions with any specialist plus chat with the assistant, Nadya.
| Plan | Sessions | Telegram Stars | Rubles | US dollars |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 1 day | 1 | 150 ⭐ | 189 ₽ | — |
| 3 days | 2 | 300 ⭐ | 379 ₽ | — |
| 1 week | 4 | 590 ⭐ | 749 ₽ | $8 |
| 2 weeks | 7 | 1040 ⭐ | 1310 ₽ | $14 |
| 1 month | 15 | 1850 ⭐ | 2310 ₽ | $25 |
One-time payment, no auto-renewal. Your first purchase of any plan is 50% off. Payment is in Telegram Stars or via lava.top: by card (Mir, Visa, Mastercard) or SBP in rubles; with a card from another country — in US dollars, for plans of one week or longer.
Start right away, no sign-up. Your partner and family don't need to know.
Talk to VeraQuestions
What does a couples therapist do?
A couples therapist helps with difficulties in a relationship or family: fights, jealousy, infidelity, drifting apart, relationships with parents. A human therapist usually works with both partners. Vera, an AI psychologist, talks with one person: she helps you understand what's going on and choose a first step.
Can I come without my partner?
Yes, Vera is designed for a conversation with one person. Often it's enough for one person to change: in Gottman's research, a conversation ends the way it starts, and that's something you can change yourself.
How do I get over a breakup?
A breakup is a loss, and it takes time. Vera helps you go through it without getting stuck: intrusive thoughts, the urge to text, resentment and guilt, and gradually getting your footing back.
What can I do about jealousy?
Jealousy often grows out of the fear of being left, not out of what your partner does. With Vera you can work out what triggers it, how to calm the anxiety without checking their phone, and how to talk about your feelings without blame.
Will Vera take my side?
Vera sees the situation from your side and supports you, but she remembers your partner has their own truth. Her job isn't to find who's to blame but to help you understand what you want and say it.
Is it really anonymous?
Yes. Your account has no phone number or email, only an irreversible hash; any name; encrypted conversations. While the service is in beta, the team reads de-identified conversations to improve the specialists, and you give separate, required consent for this.
Is it free?
Your first session with Vera is free, and you don't need to sign up to start. After that, plans from one day to one month, paid once.
How do I start?
Tap "Talk to Vera." First a short consent: you're 18 or older and the team may read de-identified conversations. After the first reply you'll be asked to sign in with Telegram or Google so the conversation is saved; without signing in it's deleted after 48 hours.
More from Dicamus
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- How Dicamus works
- Guides
Dicamus is a self-help tool with AI specialists, not medical care or an emergency service. Updated 2026-10-16.
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